The other day, I had the good fortune to connect with a dear friend that I had not spoken with in a while. I always feel so good when I spend time with my friends. I am convinced that our best moments in life are spent in the company of people that we love.
We chatted lightly for a while about many things – men, family, children, politics, career – you know, the usual girl stuff. Before we got off the phone, my friend shared with me some distress she was feeling about an area of her life that just wasn’t working out the way she wanted. She felt “absolutely disgusted” with her health. The sound of her voice communicated just how frustrated she had become toward her years-long effort to lose weight. I had been there with her through several failed diet attempts, so I knew first-hand the personal dissatisfaction she felt. One more time her personal effort failed to yield a desirable result. Getting a handle on this area of her life seemed to fall just beyond her grasp. As she relayed her unhappiness, the sense of despair oozed from her voice.
I felt compassion for her. I wished that I could do something to make this challenge go away. What I would not give to be Elizabeth Montgomery from “Bewitched” at that moment?! With a twitch of my nose, I could make any problem go away. (Okay, I’m telling my age…how about Alyssa Milano from “Charmed?”)
Anyway, I encouraged her to stay persistent. “Don’t give up,” I told her. “Your past disappointments are no predictor of your future successes.” But, I knew she wanted solutions. Positive words only reminded her that her personal goal had not yet been attained. Eventually, we ended the conversation. I am not sure I said anything that made a difference, but I remained cheerful and upbeat.
Later that night, I thought about my friend. I know that level of exasperation. I have faced recurrent challenges in my own life where no solution seemed forthcoming. Have you felt this kind of disappointment? Have you ever worked at a stubborn problem for so long that a breakthrough seemed highly unlikely? You hoped for a change but nothing you have tried so far has worked and you have become discouraged.
Is this ever going to yield results I want?
