Passion vs. Aggression

Passion and aggression are not the same. People who blaze trails in a particular field are called “rainmakers” – the idea being that they have some special dispensation to deliver extraordinary results upon command and especially under pressure. We assume it is their aggression that produces the consistent results we see. But, the discerning eye reveals that what appears to be aggression is actually passion – or a deep, abiding love for their craft. Aggression seeks to force a thing into being; that type of creation cannot last. But, passion loves a thing into being; that type of creation stands forever.

Take a moment to reflect on your dreams. What is your approach toward your deepest desires? Are you attempting to force them into being? Or, are you loving them into existence? There is a difference. That which you love into existence has unshakable staying power.

Spiritual Treatment: I inject everything I do with a spirit of passion and love.

Affirmations 101: Focus On Thinking

Affirmations and denials DO NOT change conditions; they change your thoughts about conditions.

Focus on Your Thinking

If you have a new product to launch, but your product has not yet found its audience. What you say – good or bad – about your lack of sales does not change the fact that you do not have sales. You may affirm, “I have plenty of sales! I have more sales than I can imagine possible! Everyone wants to purchase my product now!” Or you may openly express your frustration: “No one is paying attention to my efforts. I will never get this product adopted by a big enough market to earn me any money.”

Neither of these statements changes the fact that you do not have sales. But, these statements DO influence what you think about your lack of sales. And what you think about your lack of sales determines the ultimate outcome. Your words – positive or negative – DO NOT change your experience; rather, they change what you think about your experience.

This distinction in the application of affirmations and denials may seem nitpicky but understanding the mechanics of how change happens is key to living and creating deliberately.

Our lives unfold from the inside out. The words you speak change your life only to the degree that those words influence your thinking. Positive words spoken to a negative condition only work when there is a corresponding change in your mind.

No change in mind = No change in experience

Nearly everyone can site one experience wherein they made an affirmation and immediately saw a result. But the permanency of that result depended upon whether the underlying thinking was adjusted. Our affirmations and denials produce temporary results when we merely work it on the outside, rather than where it really counts on the inside.

A change in mind = A change in thinking

Thoughts are things and they occupy “space” in the mind. When properly applied, affirmations and denials remove old, weak, inefficient thoughts and replace them with new and better thoughts. A mental house cleaning is even more necessary than a physical one, for the outer is always a reflection of the inner.

The most important element to grasp about affirmations and denials is that, first and foremost, they are mental processes. Because our lives are so outwardly oriented, our first instinct is to focus upon outer behavior. We develop rules – “if you speak your affirmations for 21 days, you create a new habit.” When that does not work, we say, “well, what you really needed to do was speak it 21 times per day for 21 days.” Someone else will come along and say, “No, you have to write and speak them 21 times per day for 21 days.” Yet another will say, “21 is not enough, you need 40 days because 40 is the number of spiritual completion.” And, so it goes.

It matters not whether you speak them, hum them, sing them or dance them. Words spoken without the corresponding mental attitude produce no results. Outward behavior is always secondary to inner thinking. Adjust your mental attitude first.

A change in thinking = A change in experience

Now, it is your turn. Can you see a usefulness to focusing your affirmations and denials on your thinking rather than on your outward experience? Do you think this adjustment will make the difference in how you are using affirmations and denials? What other distinctions have you observed that make the difference between affirmations and denials that work and those that do not work?

Affirmations 101: The Four Basic Denials

In her seminal book, “Lessons in Truth,” H. Emilie Cady teaches, “all systems for spiritualizing the mind include denial. By denial, we mean declaring not to be true a thing that seems true.” Denials are the way that we speak Truth to false beliefs that limit us.

What are the beliefs that have limited us? Any reason we give to explain why we do not have some desire is a belief that has limited us. The universe is an instantaneous deliverer of dreams. The buffer of time between our desire and its arrival is our mind’s ability to receive it. In the moment that we desire a thing, it is available to us.

“Denial is the first practical step toward wiping out of our minds the mistaken beliefs of a lifetime.” (Cady)

Denials uproot entrenched family beliefs and attitudes:

• When our personal goals stretch beyond the dreams our family or community can imagine for us, we need denials. In the absence of role models and encouragement from others, denials dissolve our own self-doubt.

• When we are breaking through to a new level and no one around us believes we can, we need denials. Family and friends can be our biggest cheerleaders and they can be our greatest dream-busters. Their lack of faith in our ability can be a very powerful stopper in our lives. Denials will neutralize the effects of their lack of faith.

Denials counteract longstanding cultural beliefs:

• In every culture, we maintain prejudices about men, women, people in certain ethnic groups, people from other countries, etc. Many of these beliefs have no basis in reality but we have carried them for so long – sometimes centuries – that few question their validity. We may have a personal dream that forces us to confront a longstanding cultural belief. Our first job will be to overcome that belief in ourselves.  Last night Kathryn Bigelow became the first woman to win an Academy Award® for directing. Just as Kathryn Bigelow had to overcome her beliefs about what women directors could accomplish, we must do the same for our dream. Denials help us speak Truth to longstanding beliefs that run counter to our dreams.

The only beliefs that limit you are the ones you refuse to deny!

Cady identifies four common error thoughts that nearly everyone grants great power.

Affirmations 101: Denials – Your Mental Stain Remover

Your mind is the starting point for change. Change your mind – change your life.

In Part I of Affirmations 101, we said that before you affirm what you do want, you must deny what you do not want. Affirmations and denials are tools for deliberately building your mind. Denials prep your mind for affirmations. They dissolve negative beliefs, thereby creating room in your mind for positive affirmations of abundance.

Before we explore what denials are, let us get clear on what denials are not.

• Denials are not a way of focusing on what you do not want. Using denials will not interfere with you attracting what you want. The essence of a denial is its dissolving power. Its very nature will not allow you to hold onto any condition that you do not want. Instead of focusing you upon a specific form, denials withdraw your attention from the belief behind any undesired form.

• Denials are not your excuse to live in denial. They are not a sophisticated form of sticking your head in the sand about the undesired problems in your life. To the casual observer, it may appear that denials are a way of “pretending” that a bad condition does not exist. But the skilled thinker knows that as long as you live in mental contact with any undesirable condition, you recognize its place and therefore give it license to be in your experience. Denials sever mental contact.

• Denials are not applied to physical conditions. All causes are mental. Denials are your opportunity to speak the truth to the false beliefs that stand under the experiences you no longer want. True denial targets negative beliefs, not negative things. Always deny the mental cause.

This is NOT how denials work!

Excuse me, but can you push me out of my own way?

The other day, I had the good fortune to connect with a dear friend that I had not spoken with in a while. I always feel so good when I spend time with my friends. I am convinced that our best moments in life are spent in the company of people that we love.

We chatted lightly for a while about many things – men, family, children, politics, career – you know, the usual girl stuff. Before we got off the phone, my friend shared with me some distress she was feeling about an area of her life that just wasn’t working out the way she wanted. She felt “absolutely disgusted” with her health. The sound of her voice communicated just how frustrated she had become toward her years-long effort to lose weight. I had been there with her through several failed diet attempts, so I knew first-hand the personal dissatisfaction she felt. One more time her personal effort failed to yield a desirable result. Getting a handle on this area of her life seemed to fall just beyond her grasp. As she relayed her unhappiness, the sense of despair oozed from her voice.

I felt compassion for her. I wished that I could do something to make this challenge go away. What I would not give to be Elizabeth Montgomery from “Bewitched” at that moment?! With a twitch of my nose, I could make any problem go away. (Okay, I’m telling my age…how about Alyssa Milano from “Charmed?”)

Anyway, I encouraged her to stay persistent. “Don’t give up,” I told her. “Your past disappointments are no predictor of your future successes.” But, I knew she wanted solutions. Positive words only reminded her that her personal goal had not yet been attained. Eventually, we ended the conversation. I am not sure I said anything that made a difference, but I remained cheerful and upbeat.

Later that night, I thought about my friend. I know that level of exasperation. I have faced recurrent challenges in my own life where no solution seemed forthcoming. Have you felt this kind of disappointment? Have you ever worked at a stubborn problem for so long that a breakthrough seemed highly unlikely? You hoped for a change but nothing you have tried so far has worked and you have become discouraged.

Is this ever going to yield results I want?

The “Magic” of Affirmations

What you think about influences what you notice in your environment. Think thoughts of abundance and you will find that abundance appears uppermost in your experience.

An element of becoming a conscious thinker is to notice what gets your attention.

Right now, there are an infinite number of things that are happening in your physical environment. But, you are not seeing everything that’s happening. If you’re indoors, you may be sitting in an air conditioned room. If it’s nighttime, you may have a light on overhead. If you’re in a residential area, there may be a car passing outside. But, while you’re reading this blog entry, you may not be noticing any of those things. You do not see everything.

So, what determines what you see? Your thoughts. You only see that which you are currently thinking about. Change what you think and you will change what you see.

Think abundance and you will see abundance. When you actively choose your thoughts, you exert control over what you notice in your environment. What you see most often is what you will experience most often.

The things that get your attention are clues to uncovering the thoughts that are most dominant in your mind. Refuse the belief that a thought occurred to you for no apparent reason. You may say, “I don’t know what made me think that.” Remember, you are the thinker. You can tell yourself what to think.

Get in the driver’s seat of your own mind. Turn the wheel in the direction you want to go. Obey the “traffic” laws that govern thinking but stay focused on where you want to go.

Treat stumbling blocks and setbacks like red lights and stop signs. Pause for a moment, if you must, but not for a lifetime. Remember, you are the thinker. You are the driver of your own mind. Give no one the key to your mental car.

One way to get in the driver’s seat of your own mind is to practice daily affirmations. Unfortunately, critics of “The Secret” and other like teachings have reduced the message in these teachings to one law: the Law of Attraction. And, they’ve painted a picture of naïve followers who foolishly believe that saying positive affirmations works some kind of magical hoodoo voodoo on the universe.

Saying positive affirmations is NOT magic. Rather, it is an effective method for steering your mind in the direction of your choosing. Regardless of what happens around you, you can choose what to think. You can direct your mind toward subjects that make you happy and please you. What you see most often is what you will experience most often.

You can refuse thoughts. You do not have to think about everything that’s given to you to think about. Those thoughts that pop up “out of the blue” can be sent back to the blue. It is this power of refusal that gives you control over your universe.

If you’re like most Americans these days, you probably need more money. And, I would guess that your attention is often consumed with how far your money is NOT stretching in this economy. Changing this experience will be a matter of changing what you notice most often.

Pick a definite time of the day, maybe in the morning. Set aside 10 to 15 minutes to say positive affirmations. Use a tool like The Money Poems (www.themoneypoems.com) to focus your mind on abundance. A tool like The Money Poems can help you align your thinking with prosperity.

Continue all the other things you are doing to change your situation. We live in a physical universe. Affirmations are NOT meant to replace physical action. And, they certainly do not remove your personal responsibility to practice sound financial principles.

What a set of daily affirmations can do for you is to add a spiritual and mental component to your physical efforts. While you’re looking for a job, positive affirmations can help you stay focused. While you’re negotiating with your creditors, positive affirmations can keep you centered on the big picture.

What you think about influences what you notice, and what you see most often directly influences what you experience most often. Take charge of your thoughts. Your future depends on it.

I want to hear from you. How have affirmations worked in your life? If you’re using The Money Poems, in what ways have those poems been helping you bring into your life what you want?

Louise Hay – More Than Just a Spiritual Hero

Smart, savvy women jazz me. I include pioneering women like Mary Baker Eddy, Myrtle Fillmore, Johnnie Colemon and H. Emilie Cady in this category. And, then there are  a select few women whose accomplishments compel me to take action. I count Louise Hay among the elite group. These women operate like forces of nature. Nothing can stop them.

Louise Hay - Science of Mind's 2009 Spiritual Hero of the Year

Beyond Ms. Hay’s personal accomplishments, which include being the 6th all-time best-selling female author ever, healing herself of cervical cancer without medical intervention, working with AIDS patients at a time when they were considered untouchable and much, much more, Louise has almost singlehandedly moved New Thought from the fringe into the mainstream.

Doesn’t that just turn you on? I’d get to work now but I have to finish this article first.

Now, imagine my excitement when I found not one, but two in-depth articles written about Ms. Hay. I found the first article, entitled “The Queen of the New Age” by Mark Oppenheimer, through an archival search on the New York Times website. And, the second article came to me courtesy of a dear Facebook friend. This article, entitled “The Ambassador of New Thought” by Claudia Abbott, appears in the January 2010 issue of “Science of Mind.”

As expected, each interviewer approaches Ms. Hay from a different point of view. Abbott’s story in “Science of Mind” proclaims Ms. Hay the “Spiritual Hero of the Year.” But, while it touches on Ms. Hay’s tremendous accomplishments, it fails to give the full weight of what Hay House means for New Thought now and to future generations. Quite frankly, I was surprised to find that Abbott did not offer a proper context in which to consider Hay House and its achievements.

New Thought has always had a literary tradition. Our principles have chiefly been communicated through the written word. It’s why the inspirational quotes from Ralph Waldo Emerson, Napoleon Hill, Dale Carnegie and others touch us so deeply. Check the Facebook fan page of any person talking about the Law of Attraction (which is what mainstream media has reduced New Thought to) and you’ll find it chock full of inspirational quotations from these thinkers and others.

Consider this: in an industry run amok with consolidation, where the big eat the little, Hay House has not only survived, but it has also thrived. According to Oppenheimer’s profile, Hay House has the cash reserves to pay advances that rival those of larger publishing houses (upwards of $1,000,000). Moreover, they’ve pioneered a model wherein their writers’ fortunes do not turn on book sales or critical reviews alone. Instead, the writers earn royalties on their books as well as ancillary products inspired by their books, i.e. greeting cards, inspirational keepsakes, etc. No other publishing house can make this claim. And, Hay House has consistently fended off larger corporations that have sniffed around, attempting to purchase them.

Ms. Hay (and her business partner Reid Tracy) has built a company that can survive long after she’s gone. And, this is significant because it is the first time that a sustainable business like Hay House has been produced from within the New Thought community. We have lots of wonderful New Thought books. And, we’ve had strong businessmen like Robert Collier (“The Secret of the Ages”) and Napoleon Hill (“Think and Grow Rich”) and many more. But, those men came from the business world and latched on to New Thought principles. They made use of New Thought teachings, but they laid no business apprenticeship pathways for others to follow.

Conversely, Ms. Hay has built a media empire that creates pathways to wealth for other New Thought adherents. That’s major!

I expected Oppenheimer to miss the true value of Hay House and he doesn’t disappoint. But, I expected a publication like “Science of Mind” to zero in on an important perspective like this. Here is a woman who has taken New Thought out of relative obscurity and made it mainstream. Moreover, she didn’t just build a company that benefits herself; she has instead created a lasting platform from which New Thought writers can be launched for years to come.

Before there was a Rhonda Byrne, there was a Louise Hay tearing down walls and barriers so that a video like “The Secret” could have a platform.

The mainstream media is going to color our stories in a shade of weird. Consider the backlash in the review column on www.amazon.com for “The Secret.” Few people want to accept FULL responsibility for their experience – the good and the bad. Even though what we teach – that you can have the life you want, just choose it – has the ring of truth for them, it always comes back to the question of why bad things happen to good people. “So, are you saying that the people who died in the 9/11 attacks brought that on themselves?” they will ask.

As the next generation of New Thought thinkers, we cannot look at ourselves through the lens of the mainstream media. Just as we choose the lives we lead, we must also choose the lens through which we see ourselves. Louise Hay has done something that is utterly remarkable and should be recognized appropriately for it. She is way more than just a spiritual hero. Let us give Hay House and Louise Hay her full and proper due.

Clearly, Louise Hay is someone that I admire. But, let me hear from you. Who are some other New Thought thinkers you feel need more recognition?